When you become a parent, suddenly you’re aware of all the parenting advice you can get a hold of and can apply in raising your own kid. However not all advice on parenting are expert advice. Even those advice that come from your own mother could be faulty and may not apply well especially for you. Yahoo! Shine publishes an article about parenting entitled “10 Worst Parenting Lies” [It could make or break your parenting style.] I’m sure you could find some surprise realizations about the most common myths and misconceptions involved in parenting.
The article is written in the perspective of a mother with first-hand experience with parenting, and who may have learned about these queer lies the unpleasant way. Before you jump in on following any unsolicited advice, most probably from a stranger posting a blog about parenting online, confirm it first with facts and get the point-of-view of mothers who have been there done that. It may also help if you read these not-so-known parenting lies then see for yourself.
’10 Worst Parenting Lies’
The relationship between the mother and father of a child greatly affects the parenting set-up for the child even after divorce or legal separation. This is especially true for ex-spouses who are court-ordered to share legal and physical custody of their child or children.
A new study by the Kansas State University has identified some crucial factors that affect how ex-partner parents succeed in co-parenting.
45% of the mothers from the study group have a “contentious relationship” with their exes even in the area of co-parenting their children. The mothers state that there is a conflict in the way they see their exes raise (or cannot raise) the children, and most of the women said they do not want to share custody, but only have to because of the court ruling.
On the other hand, 35% of the mothers have a “bad-to-better” co-parenting relationship with their children’s father. During the earlier phase post the separation, the relationship was contentious but improved eventually as the mothers began to think that their exes are good parents after all. The mothers also state that they were not able to have a more amicable co-parenting relationship in the beginning because personal issues were in still the way. The parents had to change this relationship for the sake of the children, hence made a conscious effort to work things out in order to succeed in co-parenting the kids. It has been found that good communication between the ex-partners greatly helps with their success in co-parenting.
Meanwhile nearly-half of the subject mothers are still in animosity-terms with their ex-partners, and they still continue to have a contentious (almost no-communication) co-parenting relationship with their exes. They do not see that cooperation and a less-conflicted relationship would help improve their current shared-custody situation.
Parenting children ages 3 to 8 years old can be hard not just for parents, but also for their children. For children, it is a stage of major transitions. At times they would need feelings of security and affection, and other times they would want to feel independent and test the limits within their surroundings. Sometimes, they want to find out what will or will not be tolerated. And as the kids undergo these conflicting needs and pleasures, then may throw tantrums and exhibit destructive behavior during the times when they don’t get what they want.
For parents, this is often shocking and challenging to handle. Parents may feel a loss of control and feel anger and frustration for not being able to get their child to cooperate. On the other hand, parents may sometimes also feel guilt or anxious that they may be lacking enough skills with parenting and are over-all concerned about their child’s progress (at school and whether their child is making enough friends.) With this, parents often feel confused thinking as to how much freedom and control they should give their kids. You must have frequently felt guilty wondering whether you handled a situation right or perhaps whether you have expected too much from your small child.
Parents can use appropriate discipline while also being responsive and nurturing to their kids. This can help their children learn effective ways to self-regulate and solve their problems, and in the long-term help them grow and develop to become more socially competent and less aggressive individuals. It will help advance your child’s emotional, social, and academic development, and you will feel more confident and less guilty in rearing your child.
You can read more on these principles on “Responsive and Nurturing Parenting” – HERE
Summer living may be a lot easier or laid back, but it certainly is not the time to waste the chance for your kids to learn, letting them just slack the entire summer. Summer is the perfect opportunity to let them learn some important life skills they would need as they grow older. You can become a better parent and guide them through in learning the following life skills:
1. Domestic Resposibility. Let them take on the bigger chores at home like doing the laundry or mowing the lawn. This will help them learn some important “move-out-skills” which they would be able to use once they become someone else’s roommate.
2. Self-entertainment. Let them learn to entertain themselves independently, or without the use of a computer or TV. Get your kids a library card or a digital camera (which they can take around the neighborhood to explore and discover things they had never thought so interesting).
3. Time management. This is a very important skill to learn which helps them become more in control of their life and activities. Help them plan out all your family’s upcoming summer activities, marking them down in the calendar.
4. Body-Mind learning. Physical skills are just as important as academic skills. Encourage your kid to be more physically active by letting him engage more in sports, and to learn skills through observation instead of reading.
5. Inter-age communication. At school, your kid is mostly with other kids his age so learning to communicate with people in other age-groups is something he needs to practice outside of school. Assign him to become a baby sitter to his younger cousins or let him chat up with different people in the grocery store, or, you let his grandparents visit often so they could talk.
6. Goal-setting. This summer, let your kids grab the opportunity to set a goal and achieve it, whether finishing reading an (n) number of pages or doing an (n) number of pushups. It will challenge his skills and boost his confidence.
You can read more about how you can help your kids learn some life skills during summer on Babble.com (Article by Asha Dornfest, the Accidental Expert)
It is the London Olympics season and everyone is jeering for their favorite teams. Everyone is cheering for their favorite athelets – and parents are wooing for their kids. When TODAY’s Matt Lauer and co-correspondent Savannah Gurthie interview the proud parents of the women’s gymnastics team USA, the parents leave some advice on how to support your kids all the way in achieving their Olymipic dreams.
The parents share what it is like to see their kids accomplish their great althetics dreams and leave some tips to fellow parents of aspiring Olympians. The ‘golden girls’ of the Olympics gymnastics also reveal how it feels like to have their parents rooting for them during the competitions, and only one thing could be ascertained – that the moral support of the parents to their Olympian kids contribute a huge positive impact on the kids’ performance.
It turns out that it is much more than the parents’ urge to cheer because they feel proud in seeing their kids compete (and win) in the most prestigious sports competition. It is all part of responsible parenting. You help your kids push themselves to perform their best when you are cheering for them. This way, you help them achieve their dreams just by encouraging them.
To quote Mike Maroney, McKayla Maroney’s father, “The best thing a parent can do is just support them, and let them live their dream.” “Don’t make it your dream. It has to be theirs, because if they want it bad enough they’re going to be able to achieve it, and just give them all the tools that can give them that opportunity to have the success that their dream is all about.”
So that is how you can help turn a child into an Olympian.
You can read more of this MSNBC Today correspondence HERE.
Day camp is a great idea for parents like you to have some respite from raising your kids. Summer camp also cultivates a child’s self-reliance, independence, self-esteem, among other life skills. Yet there is much more to preparing for your kid’s day camp than placing his name in all of his belongings or loading up his stuff with sun block and other necessities. Here are 8 ways to prepare your child for summer camp (as suggested by iVillage):
1. Familiarize yourself and your child with the camp site and counselors beforehand.
2. Get your kid involved with the preparations.
3. Foster new friendships.
4. Advocate for your child – if necessary, talk to the camp director or other camp personnel to pay special attention to your child.
5. Share your own camp stories. Share your day camp experiences when you were still a child.
6. Do your assignment. Find out what’s allowed or not allowed in the day camp (for instance personal items like favorite toys) days ahead before camp starts.
7. Don’t let him cop out. If something happens in the day camp that your child doesn’t particularly like, listen to him and help him cope, but don’t let him quit right there and then.
8. Let him go. Let day camp drop-offs go as quick as possible, and lastly..
9. Help your child enjoy his summer camp.
You can read more details on these tips on Summer Camp Countdown! Preparing Your Kid for Day Camp (on iVillage)
Do you often find yourself in need of parenting advice, but don’t have time to seek it out? Reading a book or researching information online can take hours and even days, but new videos from the Akron Children’s Hospital in Ohio take just one minute. The videos come every Wednesday from psychologist Geoffrey Putt, and you can find them on YouTube or the hospital’s website.
It’s often a dilemma for parents to get their child into the carseat. It just takes forever! Here are a few tips from the article, “Ten Tips to Relieve Toddler Carseat Woes” from Natural Parents Network (We’re using our own examples though):
1. Relax. (It just makes things easier.) Then give it some extra time. This would really help to get to your destination on time and without having to stress too much getting the child into the carseat.
2. Talk over the plan to your child before getting into the carseat. “We’re now going to van. I need you to get into your carseat fast so we could arrive in your ballet recital right away.”
3. Turn it into a game. Pretend you are going to ride a horse, or, you scoop him up playfully and lovingly and place him or her in the carseat (this work well on smaller children), or you tell him ‘We need to go quick, we need to save the princess!’ You could even encourage his imagination by pretending he is a pilot in a cockpit.
4. Prepare a fun activity he could do in the car. (Eventually this will make him look forward to being in his carseat.)
5. Use a reward system. For instance, you’re child often asks for his favorite candy and you tell him he’ll get his treat when you’re already on your way, or after you’ve arrived at your destination.
These are just some of the tips that could help you make things easier to get your child in his carseat. You can read NPN’s entire article HERE
We’re pretty sure you’re familiar with this situation – Boarding on the plane with your child or baby, and everyone’s eyes are on you as if saying ‘Oh no, please Lord, don’t let Mrs. Woman-with-Baby sit right next to me.’ It’s not like mothers traveling on the plane with their kids have the plague right? Yes, they might cause other passengers a few, or frequent – “distractions” – but people can deal with it, right?
Devon Corneal, from HuffPost Parents share in her article “Babies on a Plane” why she thinks it’s NOT such a crime to travel with your kids (on airplanes, or other public transportation). She points out that kids have to be kids, and while parents are responsible for keeping their kids calm and occupied throughout the flight, we should still give them some allowance to make a few booboos.
Parents of course need to apologize to other passengers for these slight mishaps, and should even instruct their kids to say ‘sorry’. Letting your child say, ‘Oops, sorry’ when he spills a drink or bump into the person sitting next to him really means a lot to minimize the tension.. The point though is, slip-ups like these do happen in public transpos and that EVERYONE can cause distractions during travel and NOT JUST children. Sometimes, really, we just have to deal with everyone.
Baby’s can be expensive; that’s nothing new. But could you be cutting corners on items like clothing, diapers, and baby food? Some parents say you can. Check out these 10 tips for saving money on baby items.
If you just had a baby, chances are you’re not exactly happy with your body. But you shouldn’t just jump on the latest fad diet. New moms need a certain amount of nutrition, regardless of whether or not they’re breastfeeding, and by eating within these guidelines, it is still possible to get back to your pre-baby bod. Check out the best weight loss tips for new moms from Fit Pregnancy.
If you have kids in school and parents who work outside of the home, mornings can be quite the hassle. But they don’t have to be. Here are a few tips for speeding up your family’s morning routine.
More and more people are choosing to become vegans and vegetarians these days, but we still live in a very meat-oriented world. If you’re a vegetarian who wants to raise your children to eat like you do, how do you do it? Here are four steps to raising a little vegetarian that will make it a lot easier.
Learning to read is a great time for a child. They’re not only learning an important skill, but they are being introduced to a whole new world. Learning to read can be difficult though, and there are just some things you shouldn’t say to a new reader.
Looking for a new home is momentous occasion, but when you’re looking for the home where you plan to raise your family, it takes on a whole new meaning. So many factors go into deciding where to raise your kids. Check out Buying the Right Home for Your Family for some good advice on choosing the right place.